The Relationship of Schadenfreude and Stress

Schadenfreude adds to your daily stress.

Do you have all the support you need from friends, associates, and loved ones?

I am going out on a limb here and say, I will bet you do not have all the support you need from friends, associates and loved ones. On the surface, people will talk about all the support they are getting from others; however in most cases this is just not true.

One major reason is a concept called schadenfreude.

What is schadenfreude?

Schadenfreude is a German word meaning “pleasure taken from someone else’s misfortune.” It derives from schaden, meaning “damage or harm,” and freude meaning “joy.”

From Answers.com I found some interesting facts about Schadenfreude.

The concept of schadenfreude is not uniquely German, however. Almost every language in Europe has a word with the same meaning. There are even words that have the same meaning in Greek and Arabic. “Som nam na, can be translated as “I am laughing at your bad luck,” in the native Thai language. Go so ha da, in Korean translates as one who is pleased about an event involving the misfortune of another.

Schadenfreude had been mentioned on the following television shows and movies:

Boston Legal, Sarah Silverman, Gigli, the Colbert Report, Two and a Half Men, and Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story.

On Boston Legal, one of the characters, Alan Shore, talked of an experiment that demonstrated that the pleasure centers of the brain are stimulated while experiencing schadenfreude. Endorphins kick in and people feel good, at least temporarily.

Why do people gossip? Because it makes them feel good!

Think about all of the reality shows on television. What keeps us entertained up until to the last two people competing? When you are watching America’s funniest videos, do you ever notice much of the humor is about people are falling off of horses or off of roof tops or other things that can create physical harm?

I love to watch Adam Sandler’s movies and the movies made starring some of his buddies. But have you ever noticed that there is always someone getting thrown to the ground, punched, or beat up in some way in those movies? Yet they are funny to me and many other people.

People respond to these movies because of the concept of Schadenfreude.

In almost any comedy today you see produced for television or the movies you will experience taking joy in the misfortune of others.

Where does stress fit into the concept of schadenfreude?

Stress, sometimes called “core stress” begins when your actions and your fundamental belief systems are in conflict.

For example: Your best friend asks you to take illegal drugs. Let us assume that your fundamental belief system is such that you would never take illegal drugs. However, this is your best friend, and you want to please your best friend. Whether you take the drugs or walk away from your friend, you will be experiencing stress, as your actions and belief systems came in conflict at the first insistence that you take drugs by your best friend.

Back in 1959, I was entering the 7th grade. In October of 1959, our physical education teacher, Mr. Zange, began class on the track located on Spain Field, outside of our junior high school.

Mr. Zange had set up low hurdles as his lesson for the day was to teach us how to run the hurdles.

At the same time he was setting up for class, I was just about ready to leave my house for school when my Mother cornered me and gave me a quick lesson to take with me to school.

She said, “Wayne, never laugh at someone else’s mistake.” “It is very unkind to make fun of people when they fail at something.” “By laughing at someone else’s mistake, you will end up making the same mistake.” “It all evens out in the end.”

As I got on the school bus that morning I thought about those words and I really didn’t know why she even mentioned that lesson to me. I figured this lesson must be important or she would not have made such a point to tell me just before I was getting on my school bus.

Once I arrived at Dundee Junior High School, I reported to Mr. Zange’s PE class. Once dressed, I went outside and Mr. Zange led us out to the track located around the football field. He told us to form a line and I lined up first. Behind me was my friend, “Bob.” Now Bob really is not his real name as I do not risk hurting his feelings as he is still alive.

Mr. Zange gave a quick demonstration on how to jump over the low hurdles. He asked me if I was ready to try it first and I thought it looked pretty easy so I said, “yes.”

Behind me, Bob was laughing, saying I would never be able to jump the low hurdle.

I ran and jumped and knocked over the hurdle. Bob was laughing so hard he was doubled over in hysterics. (Or schadenfreude as I will call it now)

I was embarrassed but I returned to the end of the line to get ready for a second try.

Now it was Bob’s turn to jump the hurdle.

At that moment I wanted to begin laughing. After all, I was 11 years old and that is what 11 year olds do. I should laugh at the expense of others, experience joy or pleasure from the misfortune of others. I could feel my endorphins beginning to kick in.

Just as I began to laugh at Bob, I remembered what my Mother said to me on the way to school. She said, “Wayne, never laugh at someone else’s mistake.” “It is very unkind to make fun of people when they fail at something.” “By laughing at someone else’s mistake, you will end up making the same mistake.” “It all evens out in the end.”

Now I actually had a frown on my face as Bob made his attempt over the low hurdle. Bob not only tripped over the hurdle but he fell so hard he broke his arm. His arm ended up being the most hideous thing I ever saw either before or since.

It was a compound fracture and his arm looked like the letter “Z.”

Mr. Zange, quickly came to Bob’s aid and carried him to the nurses office while they waited for an ambulance to take Bob to the emergency room.

I learned a lesson from my Mother about not practicing “schadenfreude.” It was a lesson well learned as Bob had a severe consequence as a result of the accident at school.

In society, we value being fair to others and we are told to support one another.

My belief system became one of not saying things to hurt another person, however I have said things both before and after this incident that have hurt other people. I have experienced schadenfreude, and thanks to my Mother, the stress associated with conflicts between my beliefs and my actions.


Schadenfreude Stress Annihilation Exercise:

Think about situations in your relationships where what you believe in differs from your actions? In what situations in your job do you experience “schadenfreude?” What television programs do you find examples of “schadenfreude?”

Do you understand how your stress can be elevated by actively participating in the situations involving schadenfreude?” Think about things you can do this week to lessen the effects of schadenfreude and the stress associated with your conflict of beliefs and actions.

1. What can you eliminate or avoid in regards to schadenfreude in your personal relationships?

2. What schadenfreude activities can you eliminate on your job?

3. What actions will you take in regards to watching television programs and movies?

If you are aware of schadenfreude, you can annihilate stress associated with this phenomenon.


Summary:

Schadenfreude or taking joy from the misfortune of others is common in many areas of your life. It sets you up for core stress because it creates conflict between your fundamental belief system and your actions. Reducing schadenfreude in your life will help you annihilate stress and propagate hope.


Wayne F. Perkins, Stress Annihilator

Do you want to annihilate stress in our life? Click here for my new audio cd system!

"Annihilate Stress And Propagate Hope."

Stress Annihilation Video by Wayne Perkins

You can click on the start button located in the center of the page to view a three minute stress annihilation video.

Just breathe very deeply from the bottom of your lungs while viewing the video and picture yourself sitting or lying beside this beautiful area which is located just a few minutes from where my Stress Annihilation Retreat attendess are staying.

Stress/Hope Teeter/Totter

Stress/Hope Teeter/Totter

Achieving Goals and Building Hope Requires Stress Annihilation

Why do you want to annihilate stress? The best reason for annihilating stress is because when you are in a stressful situation, you lose hope. You lose focus on your goals. If you are a business professional responsible for bringing in new business, you may feel you want to give up.

Stress and hope sit at opposite ends of a teeter totter.

Do you remember when you where a small child playing on a playground at school. Many schools provided equipment for exercise. One of these pieces of equipment was a teeter totter. A teeter totter or seesaw as it is known in some places is simply a board balancing on a fulcrum with a place to sit at each end.

Two children sit on a teeter totter with the heaviest child sitting first in order for the lighter child to take a seat on the other end to balance out the load. They alternatively shift their weight to cause their seat on the teeter totter to go up and down.

Stress and hope work the same way as the two children conducting the balancing act on the teeter totter. Stress or fear as it is more accurately defined, and hope, or goals as it is more accurately portrayed, sit at opposite ends of the teeter totter.

As one end goes up the other end goes down. As stress increases its end goes higher in the air and hope goes down. As hope climbs higher in the air, stress goes down. Stress and fear are always opposing hope and goals.

It seems accurate that we need to annihilate stress and fear in order to elevate our hope and our goals.

I remember the movie the “Shawshank Redemption” where the wrongly imprisoned character, Andy, told the other inmates that hope was something no one could take away from you. He said “hope is a good thing, maybe the only thing.”

We begin our lives here on earth, knowing that we could die or be incapacitated at any moment. This is why stress or fear is always near the surface of our thoughts. The major thing that keeps us going is “hope;” hope for good health, hope for enjoyable relationships, hope for positive achievements and hope for enough money to pay for all of our desires.

To the degree that we can diminish stress and fear, we can elevate our goals and elevate hope. Is it difficult to keep hope alive while eliminating stress and fear? Yes it is difficult.

Fear is always appealing to our senses. Advertisers for example focus on our fears.

I remember an automobile commercial that started out by two guys arguing in the car and then an accident ensued. The two men were okay but shaken up visibly by the accident. Anyone watching the commercial can identify with the fear and stress associated with the accident.

Television newscasts focus on several fearful, stress causing events before they get to the sports news, business news or weather. Viewers become hooked on these stressful situations as they arrive home from work and while watching television.

Through all of our entertainment options we observe stress and fear. Words to incite fear are abundant in our spectator sports.

Think about the words and phrases you hear by sports commentators. Think about words and phrases like, “sudden death,” “elimination round,” “Yankees murder Red Sox,” “Spurs defeat Suns.”

The overwhelming majority of sports fans are affected by these terms because they are supporting “losing teams.” There is usually only one world champion in any given sport, meaning all of the rest of the sports fans “feel stress and the agony of defeat.” We experience the other end of the teeter totter as we lose hope.

Do you think we may carry some of this loss of hope into our jobs and our personal lives?

We are so used to being motivated by fear and stress that even our leisure time activities reflect it. Isn’t that a shame?

Always remember these statements: “When we are playing on the teeter totter, stress is at one end and hope is at the other end.” “We need to develop a quiet confidence to move our minds and bodies in the direction of hope.”

What is your ultimate goal? Where do you want to be in five years? If you could time travel to a place in your life five years from now and look back at today, what would you tell yourself about today. How important are the stressful situations you face right now in your life? Would today even be that important in your overall success? Five years into the future, would you still be thinking about your favorite sports teams’ loss of five years ago, or the price of gasoline?

Think about what life will be like five years into the future. Think about your victories, your goals and your hope.

The Teeter Totter Exercise:

Take three slow deep breaths. As you inhale slowly, breathe deeply from the bottom of your lungs. Before you exhale, hold your breath for a few moments and then exhale very slowly. Push all of the tension out of your lungs.

See yourself on the teeter totter flying higher in the air. Think about hope. Think about your specific goals and feel in your mind, your heart and your body that you have already achieved your goals.


Summary:

Stress and hope are constantly competing on your teeter totter of life. Stress always equals fear and hope always equals your goals. Use the teeter totter exercise daily and you will take a huge step to annihilate stress and propagate hope.



Wayne F. Perkins Stress Annihilator
Book Wayne for your next sales or executive meeting: Phone 602-647-4280

"Annihilate stress and propagate hope."

7 Ways to Annihilate Cell Phone Stress by Wayne Perkins

Every day we use cellular telephones. We place calls, text message, plan our day and receive calls on our cell phones.

We also observe other people walking down the street seemingly hard wired to their cell phones. Just go to in any restaurant in the United States, sit down for a quiet dinner, and you will soon be barraged by cell phone conversations. When you get up from you table to go to the restroom, you will hear other people in stalls talking on their cell phones.

Does this create more stress in your life? Yes it does.

Do people who are constantly on their cell phones experience more stress than those of us who are unplugged? I think so. They feel that they “have to” have their cell phones on at all times or they will miss out on something extremely important.

Your cell phone can be your biggest enemy in your war against stress or it can be your greatest ally.

In the midst of all of this cell phone stress and tension, I have created a program to enable you to annihilate stress with your cell phone.

Cell Phone Stress Annihilation Program

Most of the stress that we encounter during the day is core stress. Core stress is what occurs every time you “have to” do something rather than “want to do” something.

Example #1: “Tomorrow is Monday and I will “have to” go to work. Going to work is a “have to” or a core stress associated task.

Example #2: “Tomorrow our bonus checks are coming in.” “I want to go to work, tomorrow.” You may be going to the same job, however, since you are going to work to receive your bonus check, you have annihilated stress with your “want to” attitude rather than the “have to” attitude in example 1.

Back to the restaurant

Now you are back at the restaurant, sitting down and enjoying your dinner. You are treated to someone in a loud voice saying into his cell phone, “can you hear me now?”

Then in a littler louder voice he says, “Can you hear me now?”

You are on the receiving end of core stress. In fact you are the recipient of the cell phone user’s stress. You “have to” listen to this person’s voice. You wanted to sit down and eat at the restaurant. Your “want to” attitude now has changed, because of the fact that you “have to” listen to this loud person.

In order to change your attitude you must get back into the “want to” mindset. Yes, this is easier said then done, but you want to do this anyway.

Simply focus on your table your place setting and the people sitting with you and take three slow deep breaths. Now think to yourself, “I want to be at this restaurant.” “I am relaxing and I am in charge of my own attitude.” “It is up to me to have an enjoyable time here at the restaurant.”

You may want to remember that people who are hardwired to their cell phones are experiencing great amounts of stress. They fear failure in that they think that they will lose something of great value if they do not respond using their phones, and they feel rejection. They feel may feel they will lose someone of great importance whether that be a friend, a business associate or a potential client. Fear is what is driving these people to keep their phones in every part of their everyday lives.

Make sure you do not let these strangers’ fears become contagious. Keep breathing deeply and relaxing and enjoy your dinner.


How Can I Change the Way I React to My Cell Phone?

Cell phones like computers are here to stay. They come in handy for emergencies and represented our businesses and our lives “in a box.” (A very small box I might add)

You can change the way you react toward your cell phone and actually create one of the best tools for annihilating stress at the same time.


Cell Phone Stress Annihilation Exercise

My cell phone is manufactured by Samsung and is three years old. I use Verizon Wireless as my carrier.

I understand that many of you have the features I will talk about but many of you may not. You may find by experimenting that you have many additional features that will help you annihilate stress. All of you have some of the features that will turn your cell phone from a stress creating device into a stress annihilating tool.
I have found 7 features of my cell phone that will annihilate stress.


1. Your visual cell phone recognition: As you locate your cell phone visually on your desk, your night stand, or the front seat of your car, take a long slow deep breath like this.
Inhale slowly….hold it…now let it out. Let all of the tension to leave your body now.

Use your cell phone as an anchoring device for your deep breathing. Whenever you are in a stressful situation, breathing shallows. By practicing deep breathing each and every time your visually look at your cell phone, you will be annihilating any stress that may be lurking in your body at this time.

2. The next feature of the cell phone stress annihilator is located in your daily planner. Many cell phones include a planner that is used much like a palm pilot planner.

The first item located in my planner is a “to do list.” If you have located your planner enter the word “Breathe” as your top item on the list. After all, Dr. Andrew Weil the famous health doctor believes that deep breathing, at intervals several times a day is the best exercise you can do for both your mind and body. Let Dr Weil be our guide. If you are like me and have trouble spelling words with your little keypad, just type the letter “B” for “breathe.”

When you are using your cell phone, check your “to do” list and breathe.


3. Another feature of my cell phone planner is the “memo pad.” Here I can write the word “breathe” or include a “b” as well. This is a personal memo from me reminding me to breathe.

One thing I do for motivation rather than use breathe or b is I typed in the following words, “I believe in you, Butch.” Butch was my best friend and died shortly after he got out of the Marines about 30 years ago. I like to use the phrase as an affirmation that I can accomplish anything I want to accomplish. By entering in “I believe in you and putting his name it helps me feel I am not alone and Butch will help me enjoy my success.

Is there anyone in your life, a parent, grandparent, a favorite uncle or best friend who is not around anymore but you know in your heart would support your decisions? If so why not use your memory of them to help you annihilate stress?

4. Another feature of my cell phone is a “voice memo.” I can record up to 60 seconds on my voice memo. In 60 seconds I can give myself a little exercise in deep breathing or I can give myself a short motivational presentation. If you are in sales you may use it for your “elevator speech,” or what you say during your introductory call.

5. Voice Mail: If you need more than 60 seconds, you might call your voice mail and record your stress annihilation exercise or motivational speech in voice mail so you have to option to listen to it anytime you feel you need it.


6. Text messages. You can send text messages to anyone you desire including yourself. Why not text yourself a message, “Remember to breathe deeply and relax today?”

7. The main purpose of a cell phone is to call other people. For exercise number 7 in my cell phone stress annihilation program, as you dial your telephone and are waiting for it to make a connection, ring or as you wait for your call recipient to pick up or for the call to go into voice mail, take a long, slow deep breath and relax. Again, remember to breathe deeply as you begin you telephone conversation. You will find your mind sharp, alert and focused on your cell phone call. As you relax, you will find your memory more acute than it is when you are stressed.


Summary:

You can experience stress just by going to a nice restaurant at dinner time thanks to people who are using their cell phones and conversing in loud conversations. The lesson from this is that you can use your cell phone as a stress annihilation tool. You learned 7 ways to use your cell-phone as a successful stress annihilator. Use as many of these tips as you can daily and enjoy a more stress free life!


Thank you,

Wayne F. Perkins
Stress Annihilator

Phone: 602-647-4280

www.stressannihilation.com

Do you want to annihilate stress in your life. Click here for my new audio CD program!

"Annihilate stress and propagate hope."--Wayne F. Perkins

New Podcast on How to Annihilate Stress with Your Cell Phone

There is a new podcast coming up on the Monday Morning Stress Annihilation Podcast.

It is titled: 7 Ways to Annihilate Stress with your cell phone.

You can listen to it and hear all of my other podcasts online here or you can download it later for your mp3 player.

I wish you success in "annihilating stress while propagating hope."

Wayne F. Perkins
Stress Annihilator


"Annihilate stress an propagate hope."

Tip 1 In Annihilating Stress at Work

The best tip I can give you in annihilation stress at work is to understand that if you do not actually own the business, than the job you are doing is not really "your job." It is just "a" job.

Too many people get so caught up in things they cannnot change about the company they work for. Every time a compensation program changes or their job description changes, they live through a great amount of stress.

The best way to avoid the stress is to avoid taking ownership for things you do not own. Understand that other people, the ones that actually own the business have the right to change anything they want including what they pay you, how many hours you work, and if they want to sell the company or move it 5000 miles away.

Enjoy "a" job and not "your" job and you will find yourself enjoying your job and annihilating job stress.

Wayne F. Perkins
Stress Annihilator

Do you want to annihilate stress right now. Wayne has just created a new audio CD program just for you! Click here now!

"Annihilater Stress and Propagate Hope"

New Stress Video Doing Well

I have finished a stress free stress annihilation video and posted to Youtube a couple of weeks ago.

Right now it is nearing 1000 views! This video is focused on helping you annihilate stress if you are in the sales profession or if you are an executive with bottom line profit responsibilites.

Click on the button in the center of the screen to view the video. Enjoy annihilating stress!



Wayne F. Perkins
Stress Annihilator

www.stressannihilation.com
"Annihilate stress and propagate hope."--Wayne F. Perkins